literature

The Macabre Fascination

Deviation Actions

AMMEX's avatar
By
Published:
479 Views

Literature Text

Death is the great, final adventure for us all.
That fascinating realm of darkness and light.
Is there truly a heaven, Is there truly a hell?
Do our souls return to live a new or do we
wander that endless plain?

P'rhaps it's like waking from a dream.
P'rhaps the mists and shadows will part
and the shackles of lethargy will fall,
and you will realise that the life you lived
is not your life at all.
But merely a stimulation of senses and experiences.
Readying you for that which is The Truth.
P'rhaps...
Perhaps...

Are there really ghosts,
Beings claimed by death yet tied to life?
Are there really angels,
light, music and pure soul in one glorious being?
What of demons?
Are they the manifestations of our own infinite darkness
or born of the universe's?

If I die, what will I find?
Will death be the misunderstood, gentle god
The final and mayhap only true friend of men?
Or will death be the endless void,
the parallel of Life and Existence?

It is macabre and maudlin, and perhaps
a touch mad too.
But I find that with every passing day,
The possibility that Death is the only adventure
left to me,
grows and grows.
So... This is one of my darker works. I know the ending sounds rather suicidal but I just didn't really know how to end it right. I really do find Death a fascinating realm but I have to much love and hope for Life to truly feel suicidal. Anyway, as always, I'd love to hear from all of you! Please help me make my works better! All sorts of comments are welcomed~

HUZZAH! :iconhurrahplz:
© 2012 - 2024 AMMEX
Comments10
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
glossolalias's avatar
this is a very thoughtful piece— perhaps too direct at times, but there was a certain brevity that gave this poem such an impact. when i read poems about death, i am usually not treated to anything more than flowery, cliche imagery with a point hiding amidst the fluff; there was no fluff here, and all of your questions hold a stunning relevance to human nature and how it applies to the great mystery beyond. still, there were times where i felt like i was reading an adolescent rant rather than a poem, and there were certain points where the technique and grammar failed to establish what the words were trying to accomplish; this piece would benefit from a good proofreading. i am going to pick out a few things that bugged me in particular—

i. too many periods. switch it up sometimes: use semicolons, colons, or even commas! the current punctuation created this stutter-stop rhythm that was appropriate at times but uncomfortable and unnatural at others. for example, in the stanzas composed entirely of questions, it worked; in the others, it did not.

ii. the ending did not bear the same impact as the rest of the poem. in fact, i felt like you didn't quite know what to say to wrap it up. perhaps rethink something a little more poignant, that pertains better to what was discussed? a poem like this needs a truly powerful ending to cement its feverish tone, and yours felt wandering at best.

iii. pick a better capitalization scheme or don't capitalize at all. right now, the capital letters seem downright random and were very distracting.

iv. while i did appreciate how direct this poem was, at times it just came across as dull or melodramatic because it was so lacking in imagery; i also believe a bit of imagery would make it more fluid. right now, this seems like the skeleton of something that could be very great.


overall, i appreciate what you were trying to do with this poem, and i would love to see it worked on. it's fascinating, and i can tell you have some very complex and interesting views on the topic being discussed.